“Choose A Life You Love” isn’t just a catchy phrase, it’s an invitation.
So what does that even mean? What would that look like, for someone to choose a life they love?
I’m going to start by saying something you’d surely guess I’d say first: Choosing a life you love is a process that looks different for everyone, but it always starts in the same place. Can you guess where it starts?
The first step for so many is so simple, but for so many has been one of the scariest. The first step is clarifying, owning, naming that which makes you truly happy. Even if it’s something you fear other people wouldn’t “get,” even if it’s something that doesn’t feel “grown up,” even if it would mean facing your greatest fears, the first step is the most crucial, and luckily, one of the most empowering. It takes real honesty and real courage.
What is it that fulfills you? Inspires you? Gets you to smile spontaneously? When you’re not worried about what anyone else might think, how do you most want to spend your time? Do you love to sing? For you does true joy come when you write poetry? Do you love every moment you spend on your boat and spend every other minute waiting for the weekend when you can head back out on the water again? Is your definition of happiness spending time with dogs or babies? Perhaps for you it’s the moments you get to spend time in your studio alone, just you, the music you’ve chosen playing in the background, paint brush in hand…
Choosing a life you love can be scary because it means you’ve got to be really honest about whether or not you love the life you have. It means you’ve got to be willing to admit you have dreams. It also means you’ve got to be willing to face the fears you have that “dreams don’t always come true,” that you might not have financial security, that you might fail, that people might even watch and see.
When you commit to choosing a life you love each and every day, you’re making a pledge to hold each day as sacred, to remember that we’re never guaranteed a “do-over.” You’re saying, “Yes! I’m worth it!” You’re putting your faith in yourself, in your ability to dream, and in your ability to take action to make those dreams come true.
Sometimes it can feel like a “leap of faith,” a jump into the unknown. But there comes a time when spending another day just like you spent yesterday no longer feels like an option.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin
At 25, when my mom passed away, life as I knew it ended, and as an only child to a single mom with whom I was incredibly close, I felt I’d lost my “sense of north,” my sense of purpose. When I turned 30, I got so incredibly ill that there were a few months when I thought I might be dying. There have been plenty of other events throughout the years that have woken me up, have reminded me of just how precious life is and how privileged I am to be given each new morning. But it wasn’t until I saw myself working 60 hour weeks so stressed out that I would think about work even as I slept, so stressed that I spontaneously burst into tears in the office bathroom on more than one occasion, that I finally got my wake up call. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the life I wanted. I cannot know if I’ll have another tomorrow. And I knew I didn’t want to lose any more of my todays.
And so a year ago I made a bold commitment to myself. I was scared. I was so scared. But I made this promise anyway. There was no stopping it really. I decided simply, that I want to be happy every day. That was my commitment: live my life in a way that welcomed in true happiness each and every day. I had no day to waste. This wasn’t something I could “get to on the weekend.” This was urgent. I was losing touch with myself. I was losing my zest for life, my playfulness, the joy that takes me over so completely that people can feel it from a block away. So, I decided to reclaim my life.
And for me, like it has for so many of my clients, it’s been a journey—a journey that started years and years ago, a journey into which I’ve breathed new life this past year.
I took a long look at what it really means for me to be happy every day. What were the core ingredients? I knew these wouldn’t be the same for me as they might be for others. And I committed to uncovering exactly what they were. The consultant side of me came out and I created a spider-web-like diagram in PowerPoint which laid out all the essential components of my plan. For me I knew that meant doing work that felt really fulfilling—not just some of the time, but all of the time—work that allowed me to offer my unique gifts to the world in a positive and inspiring way. I also knew being happy meant making sure I spent time everyday being physically active outdoors in a place I found truly beautiful. It meant lots of time for spiritual connection, friends, family, animals. It meant living in a way that brought out the silly, playful, creative, and loving parts of me. By the time I finished my visual, the vision I had of myself truly happy was so clear, I could see myself in the future so clearly, I could almost hear myself laughing!
Once I got clear about what happy every day looked like for me, I wanted it more than ever!
My next step was committing to being more disciplined in my Law of Attraction practice. Believing in the basic premise—that what we think about, what we fantasize, worry, or stress about, is exactly what we draw into our lives—I knew I had to be very careful about what I spent my time thinking about. I decided that I wouldn’t allow fear or my head propel me forward, that I would invite my heart to drive. I decided to have faith, to trust that if I spent my time doing things I truly loved, that the Universe would allow my life to unfold more beautifully than I could even imagine. I chose mindfulness each and every day. When I’d have a “second thought” I’d quickly inspect it to see if it was coming from a place of fear. Each time it was, I sent myself a little love, I watched with compassion, and then I set the fear aside. I’d reaffirm my practice and put all my energy into discovering what my heart was telling me, asking my heart what I wanted.
I started to develop my new vision for my life—which as it happened, wasn’t so different from all the visions I’d had at other points in my life. What was different this time around is that I was doing this as a conscious practice. I was getting specific about what I wanted, how I wanted to feel in my body, in my mind, in my heart. And I was staying focused on it, without letting distractions or other people’s expectations, or my own fears get me off track. I was focused, disciplined, determined!
And then came one of the most important things I did, which is something I spend a lot of time working with my clients to do as well. I took action. I started doing what I loved. I had seen coaching clients privately even while holding other jobs, but the first time I saw a new client after my decision to just work for myself felt fulfilling in a new way. And designing and scoring and soldering my first piece of stained glass in the new studio I created for myself was life changing. With all the visioning I had done, with all the faith I had put out there into the Universe, the first steps I took really got things started. Within weeks I was already inspiring new coaching clients and receiving offers to be in my first art shows. The ball was rolling. I was doing it. I was putting fear aside. I was living a life I truly loved and I was watching my dreams come true, each and every day.
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Do you know what a life you truly love would look like? Do you know what you would be doing? Who else would be there? Where you would be? Can you feel it?
You don’t have to know how you’ll get there. And you don’t even have to believe it’s possible. And like so many others, you might even feel scared out of your mind! But, I invite you to start pondering that first question—what would it mean for you to choose a life you LOVE, not a life someone else would love, not a life you think you should love, but a life you truly love each and every day.
I invite you to join me in taking that first step and being really honest with yourself—because although it might be scary for you to think about, after seeing it work in my own life and for so many of my clients, I have complete faith that each and every one of us can live a life we love if we start by inviting ourselves to ask what a life we love would look like.
If you feel grateful to already be living a life you truly love, please share with us. What choices have you made that have helped you create a life you love?
Or if you’re not quite there yet but have a good sense of some of the ingredients you’d need to live a life you truly love, I invite you to share those too. Just the act of naming them can be powerful!
Wishing you a life you love today!
Becky
Becky Emet, MSW, MBA
Career Coach | Life Coach
Choose A Life You Love founder
***To learn more about Choose A Life You Love coaching click here or Contact Coach Becky .
