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Brain always racing? Start a mindfulness practice in just 10 seconds today!

Is your brain racing? Does it feel like no matter what you do, you just can’t get it to stop? Perhaps you’re worried about what to do next? Maybe you’re busy thinking about all the possibilities and wondering if there’s one you *should* pursue?

That feeling, like your mind is spinning in circles, like it’s almost spinning out of control…It’s totally overwhelming!

And that’s why… It is time to give yourself a break!

Now. Not after you’ve finished reading this post. Right now!

Close your eyes. Count to 10 as you breathe in and out. Focus on the rise and fall of your chest. The sensation of air moving through your nose or mouth.

Did you do it? Do it. Nothing bad will happen. It’s only 10 seconds. And, you’ll have started—not just read about starting—you’ll have actually started already! So, if you didn’t really do it, I invite you to do it now. Let yourself just focus on your breath for these next 10 seconds.

Ok. Great job! You did it!

Now that you’ve gotten a taste of mindfulness, let’s talk about how to build a daily mindfulness practice and why in the world you’d want to do that.

 

WHAT IS *MINDFULNESS* REALLY?

Mindfulness is the act of brining your attention or awareness into the here and now, into the body, into the present on the most basic level possible.

 

WHY NOT JUST KEEP GOING WITH THE STATUS QUO?

All those moments when your thoughts are buzzing, when your heart’s pounding, all those moments when your brain is racing are exhausting you and actually bringing more stress into your life.

In those moments your racing brain has you convinced that in order to survive, in order to be happy or successful, you *need* to be thinking about what you’re thinking about. The racing brain tricks you into in a *Stress Loop* that keeps your brain racing but not actually functioning on your behalf.

Here’s what it looks like:

 

Stress Loop_Choose A Life You Love

 

Your racing brain gets an A+ for effort, but its arguments are hurting you, not helping you. And, the worst part of this loop is that once you’re in it, it can keep going and going if you don’t find a way to bring yourself out of it.

The reason so many people live in this loop is that the racing brain can be pretty convincing. After all, it may feel like this constant brain buzz is helping you meet deadlines at work or keeping you from forgetting things or falling behind.

But, the truth is that staying in this brain spinning state will make it more likely that you’ll miss out on moments of joy or celebration. When your brain is so used to racing in this way, you may not even realize that you’re not fully experiencing the beautiful moments in your life that could actually be peaceful, love-filled, and deeply satisfying if you were fully present in the here and now. Years into your career, like so many of my clients describe when we first start working together, you’ll find yourself unfulfilled and contemplating whether or not the way you’re spending your time is truly meaningful.

Living in this frantic state makes it nearly impossible to achieve your most meaningful life goals or make your dreams a reality.

Mindful Awareness_Coach Becky Emet_Choose A Life You Love

 

The truth is… Confidence and clarity come from the peace of self-awareness, from acceptance of yourself in this very moment. Fulfillment and joy come from being attuned to yourself and your surroundings, opening your awareness to include your heart, body, and spirit, being fully present in your life, and living your truth without self-judgment or self-doubt.

The first step to breaking free from stress and overwhelm is starting your new mindfulness practice.

 

WHAT IS THE SIMPLEST WAY TO START A MINDFULNESS PRACTICE?

This is going to be really simple. There are just two steps; and you already did step 1!

Step 1: Close your eyes. Count to 10 as you breathe in and out. Focus on the rise and fall of your chest. The sensation of air moving through your nose or mouth.

If you don’t like this method of focusing on the breath as you count to 10, you can choose instead to close your eyes and focus on one of your 5 physical senses, like sound perhaps, just listening to all the sounds around you in this place in this moment. You can do this for 10 seconds, or you may choose to do it for a minute or even 10.

Step 2: Repeat every day, either at the same time or in response to the same cue.

In order to actually build a regular mindfulness practice that you’ll be able to do every day, start small and set aside one or two specific times a day when you know you can actually do it.

You might choose first thing in the morning while you’re still in bed, before you’ve reached for your phone or even gotten up to go to the bathroom, before other things have a chance to distract you.

Quick Tips to Make it a Habit:

  1. Create a little reminder. Keep it simple. It might be a note that simply says “breathe.” Or you might select a pebble just for this.
  2. Put your reminder somewhere where it will actually cue you to do a quick round of mindfulness. Put it on top of your phone when you go to sleep so you have to touch it before checking texts and Facebook in the morning. Or put it in your pocket, allowing every time you feel it to act as a cue for you to do another 10 second mindfulness round. Or put it on your bathroom mirror or right next to your sink to remind you to do it every time you wash your hands.
  3. Take a minute to reflect on your new practice at the end of the day. What’s it like to start this? Why is giving your brain a few seconds of calm every day something you really want to get into the habit of doing? Are you starting to notice any changes? Do you want to try to do more rounds next week?
  4. Celebrate with someone. Let your friend, partner, or coach know you’re motivated to start this new practice and the results you’re hoping to see. Bring someone into it with you who will be excited to hear when you start to feel a change.

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Pro Tip_Mindfulness_Choose a Life You LOVE

 

HOW DOES MINDFULNESS ACTUALLY WORK? WHY CLOSE THE EYES? 

The simple act of closing the eyes at the start of a mindfulness practice shifts your awareness to the present moment and to your attention itself. It allows you to notice where your attention is, take the wheel, and choose where you want to direct it. This is the difference between closing our eyes before sleep but still having our brain race and choosing to close our eyes to begin our mindfulness practice—we are choosing to do so, conscious of our intention in the moment, reminding ourselves that we have the power to choose where we put our attention—it doesn’t happen to us—we can make a choice.

 

WHAT RESULTS DOES A DAILY MINDFULNESS PRACTICE BRING?

Starting a regular mindfulness practice can be the first step in setting off a chain reaction that can lead to you living a life you truly LOVE, each and every day:

 

 

ONCE YOU’VE ESTABLISHED A CONSISTENT DAILY MINDFULNESS PRACTICE, YOU’RE READY TO START GOING ON SOME AMAZING NEW ADVENTURES!

  1. Start choosing your thoughts. Get your brain working for you rather than against you.
  2. Get clear on what you really want from your life, what will truly make you happy & fulfilled.
  3. Begin creating a plan and taking action so you can achieve your goals and live your dreams!

 

 

THE SKY IS THE LIMIT. YOU CAN CHOOSE A LIFE YOU LOVE, EACH AND EVERY DAY!

 

Do you have questions about starting your own mindfulness practice? Want to expand yours to include other formats and to more fully integrate mindfulness into your daily life? Leave a comment or send an email! Would love to hear from you! And don’t forget to share with friends, family, colleagues you think might enjoy this quick and easy approach!

 

I invite you to be gentle with yourself as you ease into your new mindfulness practice.

 

Wishing you a life you LOVE, today and every day,

Coach Becky

 


 

 

Find the Right Career for You: Tips to Create Your Vision for Long Lasting Fulfillment

Happy New Year! It’s 2015 and you’ve picked your resolution for the New Year!

You haven’t felt fulfilled at work for a long time now. So you’ve resolved to finally answer the question you stay awake in bed thinking about: What do I really want to do with my life? What career will make me truly happy?

2015 is going to be your year. You’re going to figure out what you want to do, and then, somehow, you’re going to find a way to make it happen. You’re committed. You want this. You’ve wanted this for years. You know 2015 is going to be your year!

You’re wondering where to begin. You’ve read What Color is Your Parachute? and countless other books promising to help you figure out the best career for you. Yet, you’re still not sure what you really want to do.

Before you start taking action, looking for a new job, planning your escape route, it’s time to get clear on the positive, inspiring vision you’re looking forward to bringing to life. It’s time to figure out what you really want to do with your life.

In this article I’m going to offer a few prompts to help you think about this question in a new way. My hope is there’s at least one that you haven’t seen before that will give you the jump start you’re craving.

But first, imagine this…

 

Picasso_Choose A Life You Love_Becky Emet

 

Like Picasso said, the meaning of life is to find your unique gift—that thing you do that lights you up, that you feel good doing, that utilizes your unique strengths and talents. But that’s not all Picasso was saying. He’s also suggesting that life cannot reach its full potential if you know your true gift but do not share it with the world.

Your job is not to live anyone else’s life. It is to give yourself room to live yours! Your job is to let yourself live YOUR life.

Before I offer prompts to help you figure out what your true calling really is, three quick notes to help you get the most out of this article:

1) As you get started, it’ll be important not to limit yourself to thinking just about your career. In this imaginary future you’re going to start envisioning, you’re living a whole life you absolutely love! So try your best to think more broadly than just career.

2) After you read through these prompts you’ll see that I recommend getting started by using just one or two of the prompts.

3) You’ll see that after I offer up prompts to get you mind going, farther down in this post, I offer tips on how to actually begin working with them. In my work with my coaching clients I’ve found that this process seems deceptively easy, but can instead be quite challenging for most people. After all, if figuring out what you wanted to be doing with your life was easy, you’d have figured it out years ago!!!

 


 

6 Prompts for to help you start envisioning a life you love and discover the career path for you:

Prompt A: Imagine yourself 10 to 15 years in the future, living a life you truly love

  • What are you doing?
  • What are you thinking about?
  • How do you feel emotionally, physically, spiritually?
  • What else is happening in your life?
  • For what do you feel most grateful?
  • Where are you?
  • Who, if anyone, is with you?

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Prompt B: If you knew you could do anything, and you were guaranteed to succeed, what would you do?

Prompt C: What is the number one thing you want to have happen in your life in the next 10 years?

Prompt D: Imagine if all of a sudden you found out you only had one year to live… What would become your highest priority?

Prompt E: If you were forced to take a year off, to spend a year away from family and friends, from your home and your routine, and you were given an unlimited budget, what would you spend your time doing?

Prompt F: What if there was one thing you had to do for at least 3 hours a day, every day, for the rest of your life? What’s one thing you can imagine maybe making the cut?

 


 

Once you find one or two that feel like they suggest taking a perspective you haven’t yet taken, here are 7 Steps to help you work with the one or two prompts you select:

1. Before you get started you may find it helpful to pull out some plain paper, lined paper or a journal, pencils, pens, and markers. Imagine if you were about to run a meeting and ask everyone present to just start brainstorming. Bring out all the “tools” you’d offer to help get brains going and help loosen things up enough to start playing with a whole range of ideas. This is what you’ll be doing as you get started—playing. You don’t need to find the answer during the first 10 minutes you sit down to respond to your prompt. In fact, you probably won’t. Your objective is to let your mind play, to let yourself imagine possibilities.

2. Use a prompt that feels fun for you, a prompt which you started to answer as soon as you read it, so you can create a positive atmosphere in which you can do your visioning exploration. This process can feel exciting, inspiring, filled with hope and possibility. It can also feel scary at times. So, I can’t overstate how important giving yourself freedom to just play and have fun will be at this first stage. If there are prompts that feel harder, there’s no need to use them. The old adage works here: take what you like and leave the rest.

3. As you imagine your vision becoming real, allow yourself to be in the scene, to imagine it has already come true. Allow yourself to feel yourself in your imagined future. Allow yourself to believe it’s possible, even to believe it’s already begun to happen. This is the place where you’ll spend a bulk of your time. Don’t be fooled by the easy explanation. Really let yourself spend at least 20 minutes on this one!

4. Notice any negative thoughts that come up when you first start imagining a potential future for yourself. It’s important that you not judge yourself for having negative thoughts. It’s natural that they come up. Your task at this point is to notice them. Notice any thoughts of self-doubt, second guessing, self-judgment, worry, fear, half-empty thinking, etc. Here are a few common road blocks many of my clients choose to set aside:

  • But I don’t know how I’d ever be able to do this
  • I’m not good enough
  • My partner/parent/child/friend/colleague wouldn’t like this
  • I don’t know if I have what it takes to do this
  • This feels impossible. I’d better not get my hopes up.
  • But I already spent all that time and money to study and work in a totally different field
  • I’ll never be able to make a living doing that

Visioning is the first step in choosing a career you love, in building a life you find truly fulfilling. Once you get clear on what it is you want to do with your life, then the work will become figuring out what it will take to get you there. But you’ve got to do this first step first.

5. Create a container into which you’ll be able to set aside any negative thoughts that happen to arise. This can be as simple as taking a piece of paper, writing “Negative stories I want to let go of” at the top of it, and then recording any negative thoughts that arise on that one sheet. Or, like some of my clients choose to do, you can use an old tissue box as your negative thought “trash can.” Anytime a negative thought comes up, creating a container like this will allow you to acknowledge it, write it down, and then release it by putting it to the side into its container. (For more on increasing positivity and releasing negativity, check out my blog post on 7 Steps to Becoming a More Positive Person in 2015.)

6. Create a reminder for yourself of why you’re choosing to do this. What’s your motivation for trying to figure out what will make you feel truly fulfilled in life? Is it that you don’t want to feel like you’ve wasted any more time?

Your reminder might end up looking something like one of these:

  • The how will come later. Right now I need to focus on what I want. Once that’s clear, I promise I will figure out the how.
  • I will take action. I just need to do this first.
  • I don’t want to waste time heading in wrong direction. Life is too short.
  • I have to go all in. I have to dream big! I saw what happens when I don’t let myself and I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m done with that. Now I’m choosing to put everything I’ve got into trying to build a life I actually really love.
  • I don’t want a quick fix. I’m going to put in the work because this time I want the real thing. I want the next steps I take to be towards a career that will last!

Create a reminder that works for you. Write it down. And put it someplace where you won’t be able to ignore it!

7. Respond to the one or two prompts you select in any way you’d like. Just let yourself experiment and find a way that feels fun, inspiring, and energizing for you. Scribble down freely associated thoughts, talk to yourself out loud, draw stick figures, type up a list, play on your computer in Word, Excel, or PowerPoint, move your body, shake things up. Do whatever ends up working for you. You may begin to think about the exercise as creating your very own recipe for the secret sauce you might use to create a life you love. Find what works for you and go for it!

 


 

If you notice yourself resisting the visioning process, if the idea of “dreaming” seems frivolous, or if you notice yourself doing anything and everything you can before sitting down to get really clear on exactly what it is you want, (i.e., taking out the trash, watering the plants…) try thinking through these journaling prompts:

  • What is the point of figuring out my dream? Of figuring out what would bring me deep and lasting fulfillment?
  • What’s in it for me if I put in the effort now to figure this out?
  • What’s the risk if I don’t do this work?
  • What’s the risk if I do put in the time to try to figure this out?
  • What about doing this feels scary?
  • What’s holding me back?
  • What’s making it feel easier not to do the visioning work?
  • Do I truly want to figure this out?
  • If I do want to figure this out for myself, what am I going to do to make sure I see this through? What actions will I take today and this week to propel me forward along this soul searching journey?
  • What do I need to remind myself of every day in order to feel motivated to see this through?

 


 

I wish you the best as you embark on your vision quest! It may be a bumpy ride. But I encourage you to stick with it until you find your answers!

Leave a comment and let us all know what ends up working for you, where you hit road blocks, questions you have, new prompts you’ve designed that ended up working better for you.

These steps won’t work immediately for everyone. If you find yourself getting stuck at any stage, reach out. I’m happy to help you get to the next level!

~Becky

 

 

Becky Emet, MSW, MBA

Career Coach | Life Coach

Choose A Life You Love founder

Email Becky today to schedule a FREE coaching consultation to learn more about how coaching can help you choose a life you love at info@ChooseALifeYouLove.com

Following Through on Your 2015 New Year’s Resolution: 7 Steps to Becoming a More Positive Person in 2015

 

It’s that time of year again.

You’re wondering what to pick as your New Year’s resolution for 2015. You want to pick something that will enrich your life, and perhaps most importantly, something on which you’ll actually follow-through this time!

You Make The Choice

“Attitude is everything.” Every single day you make a choice. What are you choosing to focus on? You can spend most of your energy noticing the barriers in your path, or you can choose to spend your time and energy focusing on what you want, possibilities, joy and abundance. The choice is yours to make.

The single most important resolution one can make in life is one which I’ve helped many of my clients tackle, one on which I’ve also focused in my own life as well.

This year, I invite you to make your 2015 New Year’s Resolution to

***Build up my positive thinking muscles and

learn how to quickly release unhelpful negative thoughts.***

If you haven’t yet decided what your 2015 resolution is going to be, here are 3 reasons why this is the New Year’s resolution to choose:

  1. The benefits of doing this will spread into every area of your life, making it one of the most worthwhile resolutions you can choose. Today there is an abundance of research showing the positive physical, spiritual, emotional, and relational effects of positive thinking. Your body, your mind, your clients, your boss, and especially your loved ones – will all thank you for becoming a more positive person.
  2. Taking control of your life by taking control of what you spend your time thinking about is absolutely possible! Ever hear the phrase “mind over matter?” The truth is that what we think about plays a large role in creating our reality.
  3. Anyone can do it. Regardless of life circumstance, YOU can do it. You don’t need any money. You don’t need a mansion or your own gym equipment. All you need is a few minutes every day, and these can even be minutes you’re already spending in the shower, on your commute, or on your walk to the store.

Although you may find this to be one of the more challenging resolutions to set, you can follow the 7 steps below to ensure that 2015 will be the year you stick to your New Year’s resolution, the year you learn how to choose and attract positivity, hope, inspiration, beauty, fun, and vitality!

I’ve found following these 7 steps to be most helpful for clients of mine who have set out to live happier, more upbeat lives:

Step 1: Make the choice and set a clear goal. We achieve what we set out to achieve. So it’s important to be specific about what exactly you want. Do you want to think more positive thoughts than negative thoughts? Do you want to feel confident and let go of old thinking patterns that contributed to low self-esteem? Do you want to leave work at the office and stop bringing stress home with you? Whatever it is you want, name it. See if you can’t make it something that passes the Mt. Everest test too – just like if your goal were to climb to the summit of Mt. Everest, put your goal into terms which will allow you to a) imagine what it will be like to reach it, and b) know when you’ve reached it.

The other important point here is to acknowledge that you’re making a choice. And you’re the only one who can make it. If you don’t take the reins on this, no one else will. If you don’t put in the work, no one else will. It’s a choice you’ll be making day in and day out.

Be sure to write your goal down and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. (The bathroom mirror is a favorite choice for many of my clients.)

Step 2: Visualize the end. Even though this step is often the easiest and most enjoyable, this step is absolutely crucial! Being able to see and feel what your life will be like if you keep your resolution and reach your goal will be something that will sustain you all year. Runners visualize crossing the finish line and hold onto that vision while they run over each of the hills of their marathons. It works! It helps you stay focused on why reaching your goal is worth it for you. So take a few moments, close your eyes if you’d like, and imagine what your life will be like when you’ve mastered the art of positive thinking.

To really use the full power of visualization, imagine what you’ll feel like once you’ve accomplished your goal. See if you can’t even feel right now how you imagine you’ll feel then, as if the change has already happened. Imagine what you’ll be doing, what you’ll be saying, who you’ll be spending time with… How amazing would it be to have hope, to feel confident, to look forward to tomorrow regardless of whether it’s a work day, a weekend, or you’re on vacation. Just imagine!

While some of you might chuckle at this suggestion, it really does help to literally draw a picture, or at least write it out.

Step 3: Take stock of where you are now. Scan through your day or your week and think about some of most frequently recurring thoughts you’ve had about work, money, your home, family, friends, your business partner or significant other, your body, your education, things you’d like to do or have to do, or decisions you’ve made in the past. The thoughts that come to mind as you do this scan might be those that come to you most frequently when you first wake up in the morning, as you’re trying to fall asleep, or at the end of the weekend. As you think of them, try to sort them into positive and negative thoughts, with any self-critical, judgmental, regretful, sad, anxious, or angry thoughts going on one sheet of paper and any confident, optimistic, excited, fun, happy, loving, generous thoughts on an entirely separate sheet of paper.

If you imagine putting your lists onto either side of a scale and your negative thoughts outweigh your positive thoughts, then this is the resolution for you! You’re on the right track. And now that you’re setting this as your intention, things can only get better from here!

*It’s important to limit this exercise to just about 5 minutes tops since thinking of the most common negative thoughts that cross your mind can quickly get you feeling pretty negative and might even push you off track altogether. So, just do enough to get yourself started and then cut it off at 5 minutes. You’ll quickly see the point.

Step 4: Make a plan to develop a new habit. This can be the most challenging step in reaching any goal. All those resolutions you didn’t meet in years past didn’t make the cut because you hadn’t yet changed your habits. So, as you make your plan, be strategic. Think about what it will actually take to reach your goal. Life not going the way we want it to is not the only reason we get into a trap of negativity. More often than not the single biggest reason we keep feeling stressed out, angry, hopeless, anxious, or sad year after year is that we’re in the habit of feeling those ways.

Spend a few minutes reflecting on these questions to find clues about what it will take for you to choose more of the thoughts you want:

  • When has maintaining a positive outlook felt easier for you? What elements of your life in those moments can you easily replicate?
  • What have you noticed helps stop your mind from spinning into negativity?

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Then, as you create your plan, think about what it will really take for YOU to create a new habit and begin to think more positively. The plans I develop with my clients often include things like:

  • Start a morning/evening gratitude practice. Start small by thinking of 1 thing for which you’re truly grateful each morning. You can do this during your morning shower or as you pour your morning coffee. Gratitude is a quick way to shift from negative thinking to positive thinking; that’s why everyone’s doing it these days!
  • Create a container into which you’ll place any negative thought that comes to mind. You may decide to use an old tissue box as your negative thought “trash can.” Anytime a negative thought comes up, you can acknowledge it, write it down, and then release it by putting it to the side into its container. ***It’s important to note, the goal of positive thinking is not to ignore or deny your negative thoughts. Rather, the aim is to learn how to keep negative thoughts from controlling your life.
  • Fill your mind with positive thoughts. You may even decide to make a game of it. You might challenge yourself to see how many positive thoughts you can come up with during your morning commute. You may decide you need a partner to keep you on task who can start an email thread with you in which you two volley positive thoughts back and forth to each other throughout the week.
  • Set aside time to laugh and smile. If babies do it for you, go hang out with some. If animals are your thing, go hang in the dog park or take your own for a long walk. If you can’t get enough of Sarah Silverman, put watching her on YouTube onto your daily to do list. By setting your intention to laugh or smile each day, you’ll be building up your positivity muscles and training your eye and ear to look for more of the same.

These are just a few examples. I bet you can think of others that might work even better for you.

Once you’ve got your own unique plan, keep it simple and jot down 1 to 3 things you’re going to do every day to get into the habit of thinking positively.

Step 5: Take action. Now. Right now. Put down this blog post for a moment and think of one positive thing.

You’re going to choose a resolution you think will improve the quality of your life. You’re choosing to invest in YOU. There will be an exciting outcome you can already imagine. Those are three positive thoughts right there. And you’ve probably just come up with at least one more too.

The important thing here is to make sure you don’t stop at the planning stage. And don’t just say you’ll start tomorrow. It takes 5 seconds to take action on this resolution right now. So, think Nike and Just do it!

Step 6: Start tracking your progress right away. There’s nothing that derails a New Year’s resolution faster than making it on New Year’s eve and then watching January 10th roll around as you realize you haven’t taken one step towards it.

So see if you can create a simple document to track whether or not you did the 1 to 3 things you put in your plan to do every day. The easiest way to see progress is to measure it. And no matter what your New Year’s resolution is, you’ve chosen it because it’s not second nature yet, because it’s not something you’re doing every day yet. So track your efforts and watch them grow.

And then, as you see more and more check marks, celebrate!!! Your New Year’s resolution is your gift to you. Celebrating your progress reminds you of just how hard it was to get where you are, of just how important the decision felt when you made it. Celebrate the gift you’ve chosen to give yourself.

Step 7: Revise as necessary. Challenge yourself to stick with your plan, to stay committed to your New Year’s Resolution, and to look at the parts that remain difficult to see if you might need to try a new approach. A month or two into the new year be sure to also take a look for any elements of your plan that have become too easy, and challenge yourself to set your standards higher, to see if you can take your positive thinking to the next level. Whatever you do, don’t let the fact that you still have negative thoughts in March throw you off your track. Remember the choice you made, the conviction you had when you made it, and choose to stick with it in whatever modified form makes it most useful to you.

As you revise be sure to keep step 5 in mind. It’s not enough to plan or to revise, whether in its original or revised form, in order to reach your goal every plan needs action!

 

I wish you all a year you absolutely LOVE, a year filled with gratitude and an abundance of reasons to feel it!

 

*** Leave a comment! Whether you choose a similar New Year’s resolution to the one I’ve suggested or you apply the steps above to an entirely different resolution, let me know what you think of this post. I’d love your thoughts and feedback! And, of course, if you have additional tips to offer, please share them too!

 

Share this post with someone you think might enjoy it!

 


Wishing you a wonderful New Year!

~Becky

 

Becky Emet, MSW, MBA

Career Coach | Life Coach

Choose A Life You Love founder

 

New Year’s Resolution 2015 – Special Offer

***Offering a second coaching session FREE to all new clients who contact me by Sunday, January 4, 2015***

Do you want to find the career path that will finally feel fulfilling? Do you want to make sure you actually stick to your New Year’s Resolution this year? Do you want to take the steps you need to take in 2015 to create a life you absolutely LOVE?

Email me today to schedule a FREE coaching consultation to learn more about this special offer and to see whether coaching is right for you – info@ChooseALifeYouLove.com

 

The Five Most Important Signs You’re Living a Life You LOVE

You know that special *glow* Maya Angelou always had, the warmth of her smile that seemed always to be a full-body smile?

That’s the glow of living a life she truly loved. Hers was the glow of a woman who was living the life she was meant to live, living in her own fullness, living in her strength and her gentleness, living in her joy and in her pain, sharing herself with others in her uniquely open and uncensored way, sharing her gifts with the world, and breathing in each moment as her true self

If you’re reading this, you’re probably someone who wants to LOVE your life. You may even be someone who does love your life most of the time. You may not know how to tell exactly. Or you may know that although you love your life some days, in some moments it seems all too clear that your life just isn’t everything you want it to be.

In the blog post below I’ll share The Five Most Important Signs You’re Living a Life You LOVE. Look out for these signs in your own life. Get honest with yourself. You deserve a life you truly love. It’s worth it. So, take a minute or two, scan the signs below, and see what you find. It may feel like you’re taking a good long look in the mirror.

Before you read further and your mind gets cluttered with someone else’s ideas, I invite you to ask yourself: On the days when I am living a life I truly love, how can I tell? How would my best friend be able to tell? How would a stranger be able to tell?

When I work with my life coaching clients who have made the choice to live a life they LOVE, I ask them questions like: If you were living a life you truly loved each and every day, how would you wake up feeling? How would you feel going to sleep at night? When you looked in the mirror, what would be most noticeable?
Here are the top five signs I’ve seen in my coaching clients who have chosen to live lives they love, in the lives of my mentors and successful public figures, and in my own life as well.

The Five Most Important Signs You're Living A Life You LOVE

The Five Most Important Signs You’re Living A Life You LOVE

1. You notice that you wake up eager to start your day.

Picture this: Your eyes will just barely be starting to open, the alarm may be going off, and way before you’re convinced you’re really awake, the dog, or cat, or kiddo will jump into your arms to make sure that yes, you are in fact awake! Soon your brain will begin to think about your day, what you need to do, who needs what from you, how much time you have left to get ready. You’ll start to become aware of your body, you may feel like stretching or notice the first morning belly whispers that let you know you’ll be getting hungry soon. And here’s the part that’s different when you’re living a life you truly LOVE—you’ll notice that you feel energized, that you feel excited, that the vision you’re starting to imagine in your head of how your day will go is fun to imagine.

Whether you decide to jump out of bed or snuggle with a loved one for a few extra minutes, you’ll be doing so calmly, without self doubt or self judgment or a sense of needing to rush. Whether you wake up with an idea of what you’d like to do that day and feeling eager to get started, or you wake up knowing that the day will be more of an adventure that unfolds organically, you’ll feel pumped to fully participate in it. You won’t be wishing it was a different day of the week or wishing today wasn’t the day you had to do this or that. You won’t be feeling that heavy, pressure-filled feeling of needing to make the day perfect, or present a perfect self, or meet your boss’ or partner’s or child’s or parent’s expectations. When you wake up to a life you truly love, you’ll wake up feeling free, calm, whole, and energized!

2. You feel calm and fulfilled as you’re getting ready to fall asleep.

Imagine brushing your teeth, getting undressed, making your way over to the bed and pulling back the covers, and feeling a sense of satisfaction, like something is very *right.* As you climb into bed and begin to close your eyes, the daily replay will make you smile. You’ll remember moments from your day that felt like gifts. You’ll feel proud of a decision you made or the way you treated yourself or someone else. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment—even if your day was spent lying on the beach soaking in the sunshine—you’ll have a sense that the way you chose to spend your day fit into the bigger vision you have for your life.

You’ll end your day knowing that you did something meaningful, that you finished what you started, and that the way you’ll choose to spend your time the next day will be a natural extension of your choices and efforts and ideas of today. You won’t have this sense of having something hanging over you. You won’t be dreading tomorrow. You’ll have made choices today that send you off into sleep with confidence, clarity, serenity, and ease. When you’re living a life you truly love, there will be a calm you’ll feel at the end of your day that will make it easy for you to give your mind, body, and spirit a true rest. You’ll fall sleep looking forward to tomorrow.

3. You feel grateful throughout your day.

When you’re living a life you truly love, so many moments throughout your day will feel like gifts. At first you may be surprised how often you feel true gratitude. It may come up in the tiniest moments—tasting a favorite food, a quick kiss in the morning, a phone call to an old friend, the satisfaction you feel checking something off your to do list, making plans for an adventure, coming up with a new idea, getting a thank you note in the mail, how fresh the air feels as you breathe it in, how flexible your muscles and joints feel… You’ll find yourself noticing the miraculous nature of so much of your life.

You’ll have this awareness too that none of the moments of your life are guaranteed, that they’d just have easily not happened. You’ll see with greater clarity how your own choices have brought those treasured experiences into your life. You’ll know that you’re a player in your own sense of gratitude, that in large part it’s the wanting to feel grateful that allows you to truly appreciate so many gifts in your life.

You may find that you don’t feel thrilled about every single thing that happens just as soon as it happens. You may also find yourself working to change something, working to fight an injustice, devoting energy to changing your perspective on something, tending to a crisis that came up at home or at work… but what you’ll find is that those moments don’t outweigh the grateful nature of your spirit. Moments of which you aren’t the biggest fan at the start won’t distract you from noticing the many aspects of your life for which you’re truly grateful. You’ll have a sense that you have the tools to tackle any challenge, that you’re up to the task. You won’t be measuring the water in your glass, the time in your day, the energy you have to give everyone who seems to want it, wondering how close you are to empty. You’ll notice the glass being filled with more water than you could ever possibly use up, with more energy and blessings, with more love and connection, with more energy and resolve than you’ll ever need. Any feelings of scarcity will have transformed to become a simple and deep knowledge that you have an abundance of everything you really need in your life. In living a life you love, you’ll be looking for opportunities to give, to share all those things for which you’re most grateful with your loved ones and with the world.

4. You’re able to express yourself easily and openly.

You know those moments when you tell a story or a joke and the punch line comes out better than you could have ever planned it and you’ve got everyone around you roaring with laughter? Can you remember moments in your life when you were so convinced a new idea you had was truly great that the idea seemed to just get better and better every time you told someone about it? What about times when you’ve had something truly difficult you’ve needed to say, something that was going to be hard for someone to hear… Can you remember those times when you said the tough thing and it felt easier than you’d imagined, when you seemed to find exactly the right words to speak your truth in a way that felt like you were really taking care of your needs and also showing care to the other person at the same time?

There’s something really special that happens when you choose to live a life you truly love. Words don’t get caught in the back of your throat. You don’t find yourself wondering what you should or shouldn’t say. You don’t feel confused or unsure of yourself.

Instead, there’s an honesty with which you live your life that allows you to communicate effortlessly. When you’re in alignment, when your choices feel intentional, when you’re feeling energized and grateful, when you’re living your life with integrity, when you feel clear about how you want to live your life, there’s a way that expressing yourself becomes the easiest thing you’ve ever done. There’s a peace, a “rightness,” a sense of fullness. And you’re unafraid. You’ve found a way to be mindful and self-reflective. You’ve gotten real about what it is you really want from life. You’ve placed your highest priorities and values at the center of your life and you have no doubts about your decisions. There’s an openness that comes from that. You’ve won back that confidence in your own inner voice that you may have had as a young child, or perhaps you’ve developed even more as an adult. You’re fearless about sharing your truths, your perspectives, your ideas. And you’re aware of the tremendous gifts you give when you express your inner-most self so fully. This is what it feels like to so many who have chosen to live lives they truly love each and every day.

5. You feel like you’re able to be your true self, the full expression of who you are in every moment.

We all have different parts of who we are—You may be smart but also love to be silly. Or you’re determined but love to spend all day Sunday watching movies on the couch. You’re hard working but can’t wait another moment for that vacation in Hawaii. Perhaps, being a parent is the most important thing in your life, but sometimes you want time just with other adults. Or you’re the schmoozer your boss can always rely on in those sales meetings, but sometimes you just want to be the fly on the wall for a change and let someone else take the lead. You’re the one everyone goes to for strategy, and you can cry during a particularly good commercial… (the list goes on and on…)

Imagine showing all of those seemingly contradictory parts to your partner, you new boyfriend, your child, your teacher, your colleague, or your boss. Imagine what it would be like to feel comfortable being all of you. Imagine if you didn’t just feel okay doing that, but if you believed that by being so fully you, by being so open and honest about the colorfulness of your true personality, you were having a more positive impact on yourself and the people around you. Imagine if you believed that listening to your dreams, instead of setting them aside, was the key to you living a life you fully loved. Imagine being yourself without fear causing you to think about tucking some parts of you away and only letting them out in certain company. Imagine if you knew that being your full self was the only way for you to find true and lasting fulfillment. And imagine if you knew that by being your true self, in all ways, you would give more to this world than you would have ever dreamed.
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That is what living a life you truly love each and every day is like. It’s a life YOU love after all. It’s no one else’s. In a life you love, you know the things which make you unique are also your greatest gifts. You know that sharing the fullness of who you are with the world allows you to feel free and fully alive, and offer to the world gifts whose value lies beyond anyone’s imagination.

These are the five most important signs you are living a life you truly love that I’ve collected to this point. Some may ring more true for you than others. There are some signs that you might notice are missing from this list but which you know you’d include on your own.

Your signs may be different!!! I encourage you to think about what your signs are.
How would YOU be able to tell you were living a life you *truly* loved?

As you bring these images of you living a life you truly love to mind, can you *feel* it? Imagine what you feel like, the thoughts running through your mind in those moments, the way you’re breathing, the pace at which your heart beats… Just imagine!

Take a look at the worksheet below and see if it sparks any new ideas for you. And then, if you’d like to, please share your insights in the comments section by clicking on leave a reply at the top of this post so we can all benefit from adding to our growing list of signs to look out for.

I hope this little exercise and The Five Most Important Signs You’re Living a Life You LOVE have inspired you to figure out what your own unique signs are.

No one can live your life for you. No one can love your life for you. And no one can tell you exactly what a life you’d truly love each and every day would look like. Only you can do that.

The amazing thing is that YOU CAN DO IT! You can get clear on what it’d feel like for you to be living a life you truly loved. And then you can make the choice to go out and CHOOSE A LIFE YOU LOVE, each and every day!

Wishing you a life you truly love, today and every day!

~Becky

Don’t forget to share the signs you come up with in the comments section. We’d all love to add signs to the list so we can be on the search for those as well! Scroll to the top of the post to *leave a reply.*

If you’d like to live a life you love and you’re curious about what it takes to make that choice and make your dreams a reality, you can learn more at Choose A Life You Love coaching. I also offer complementary coaching consultations to everyone who makes a request!
***Email me at info@choosealifeyoulove.com to set up your complementary coaching consultation today***

 

 

Becky Emet, MSW, MBA

Career Coach | Life Coach

Choose a Life You Love founder

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Image of Maya Angelou sourced from http://lifestyle.allwomenstalk.com/inspiring-career-quotes/7/)

An Invitation to Choose A Life You Love

 

Choose A Life You Love” isn’t just a catchy phrase, it’s an invitation.

 

So what does that even mean? What would that look like, for someone to choose a life they love?

I’m going to start by saying something you’d surely guess I’d say first: Choosing a life you love is a process that looks different for everyone, but it always starts in the same place. Can you guess where it starts?

The first step for so many is so simple, but for so many has been one of the scariest. The first step is clarifying, owning, naming that which makes you truly happy. Even if it’s something you fear other people wouldn’t “get,” even if it’s something that doesn’t feel “grown up,” even if it would mean facing your greatest fears, the first step is the most crucial, and luckily, one of the most empowering. It takes real honesty and real courage.

What is it that fulfills you? Inspires you? Gets you to smile spontaneously? When you’re not worried about what anyone else might think, how do you most want to spend your time? Do you love to sing? For you does true joy come when you write poetry? Do you love every moment you spend on your boat and spend every other minute waiting for the weekend when you can head back out on the water again? Is your definition of happiness spending time with dogs or babies? Perhaps for you it’s the moments you get to spend time in your studio alone, just you, the music you’ve chosen playing in the background, paint brush in hand…

Choosing a life you love can be scary because it means you’ve got to be really honest about whether or not you love the life you have. It means you’ve got to be willing to admit you have dreams. It also means you’ve got to be willing to face the fears you have that “dreams don’t always come true,” that you might not have financial security, that you might fail, that people might even watch and see.

When you commit to choosing a life you love each and every day, you’re making a pledge to hold each day as sacred, to remember that we’re never guaranteed a “do-over.” You’re saying, “Yes! I’m worth it!” You’re putting your faith in yourself, in your ability to dream, and in your ability to take action to make those dreams come true.

Sometimes it can feel like a “leap of faith,” a jump into the unknown. But there comes a time when spending another day just like you spent yesterday no longer feels like an option.

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

At 25, when my mom passed away, life as I knew it ended, and as an only child to a single mom with whom I was incredibly close, I felt I’d lost my “sense of north,” my sense of purpose. When I turned 30, I got so incredibly ill that there were a few months when I thought I might be dying. There have been plenty of other events throughout the years that have woken me up, have reminded me of just how precious life is and how privileged I am to be given each new morning. But it wasn’t until I saw myself working 60 hour weeks so stressed out that I would think about work even as I slept, so stressed that I spontaneously burst into tears in the office bathroom on more than one occasion, that I finally got my wake up call. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t the life I wanted. I cannot know if I’ll have another tomorrow. And I knew I didn’t want to lose any more of my todays.

And so a year ago I made a bold commitment to myself. I was scared. I was so scared. But I made this promise anyway. There was no stopping it really. I decided simply, that I want to be happy every day. That was my commitment: live my life in a way that welcomed in true happiness each and every day. I had no day to waste. This wasn’t something I could “get to on the weekend.” This was urgent. I was losing touch with myself. I was losing my zest for life, my playfulness, the joy that takes me over so completely that people can feel it from a block away. So, I decided to reclaim my life.

And for me, like it has for so many of my clients, it’s been a journey—a journey that started years and years ago, a journey into which I’ve breathed new life this past year.

I took a long look at what it really means for me to be happy every day. What were the core ingredients? I knew these wouldn’t be the same for me as they might be for others. And I committed to uncovering exactly what they were. The consultant side of me came out and I created a spider-web-like diagram in PowerPoint which laid out all the essential components of my plan. For me I knew that meant doing work that felt really fulfilling—not just some of the time, but all of the time—work that allowed me to offer my unique gifts to the world in a positive and inspiring way. I also knew being happy meant making sure I spent time everyday being physically active outdoors in a place I found truly beautiful. It meant lots of time for spiritual connection, friends, family, animals. It meant living in a way that brought out the silly, playful, creative, and loving parts of me. By the time I finished my visual, the vision I had of myself truly happy was so clear, I could see myself in the future so clearly, I could almost hear myself laughing!

Once I got clear about what happy every day looked like for me, I wanted it more than ever!

My next step was committing to being more disciplined in my Law of Attraction practice. Believing in the basic premise—that what we think about, what we fantasize, worry, or stress about, is exactly what we draw into our lives—I knew I had to be very careful about what I spent my time thinking about. I decided that I wouldn’t allow fear or my head propel me forward, that I would invite my heart to drive. I decided to have faith, to trust that if I spent my time doing things I truly loved, that the Universe would allow my life to unfold more beautifully than I could even imagine. I chose mindfulness each and every day. When I’d have a “second thought” I’d quickly inspect it to see if it was coming from a place of fear. Each time it was, I sent myself a little love, I watched with compassion, and then I set the fear aside. I’d reaffirm my practice and put all my energy into discovering what my heart was telling me, asking my heart what I wanted.

I started to develop my new vision for my life—which as it happened, wasn’t so different from all the visions I’d had at other points in my life. What was different this time around is that I was doing this as a conscious practice. I was getting specific about what I wanted, how I wanted to feel in my body, in my mind, in my heart. And I was staying focused on it, without letting distractions or other people’s expectations, or my own fears get me off track. I was focused, disciplined, determined!

And then came one of the most important things I did, which is something I spend a lot of time working with my clients to do as well. I took action. I started doing what I loved. I had seen coaching clients privately even while holding other jobs, but the first time I saw a new client after my decision to just work for myself felt fulfilling in a new way. And designing and scoring and soldering my first piece of stained glass in the new studio I created for myself was life changing. With all the visioning I had done, with all the faith I had put out there into the Universe, the first steps I took really got things started. Within weeks I was already inspiring new coaching clients and receiving offers to be in my first art shows. The ball was rolling. I was doing it. I was putting fear aside. I was living a life I truly loved and I was watching my dreams come true, each and every day.

 

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Do you know what a life you truly love would look like? Do you know what you would be doing? Who else would be there? Where you would be? Can you feel it?

You don’t have to know how you’ll get there. And you don’t even have to believe it’s possible. And like so many others, you might even feel scared out of your mind! But, I invite you to start pondering that first question—what would it mean for you to choose a life you LOVE, not a life someone else would love, not a life you think you should love, but a life you truly love each and every day.

I invite you to join me in taking that first step and being really honest with yourself—because although it might be scary for you to think about, after seeing it work in my own life and for so many of my clients, I have complete faith that each and every one of us can live a life we love if we start by inviting ourselves to ask what a life we love would look like.

 

If you feel grateful to already be living a life you truly love, please share with us. What choices have you made that have helped you create a life you love?

Or if you’re not quite there yet but have a good sense of some of the ingredients you’d need to live a life you truly love, I invite you to share those too. Just the act of naming them can be powerful!

 

Wishing you a life you love today!

 

 

Becky

 

Becky Emet, MSW, MBA

Career Coach | Life Coach

Choose A Life You Love founder

 

***To learn more about Choose A Life You Love coaching click here or Contact Coach Becky .