If you’re feeling unfulfilled at work and unsure about what to do next, this post is for you!
You’d probably love to wake up eager to start your day. You’d give almost anything to feel calm and fulfilled as you fall asleep. Right now, while you’re feeling unfulfilled by the work you do 40 or 50 or 60 hours a week, you know there is more to life, but you’re just not quite ready to leave your job yet. Something’s holding you back and you just aren’t sure what to do.
First, let me start by reminding you that you’re not alone! According to the 2013 State of the American Workplace report put together by Gallup, an alarming 70% of people are not engaged at work. Millions of Americans are “checked out, sleepwalking through their workday, putting time – but not energy or passion – into their work,” and many are feeling even worse. Gallup estimates that approximately 18 million people spend their days in jobs they hate (or in Gallup speak, they’re “actively disengaged”).
What’s more upsetting than the insanely high number of people who don’t feel fulfilled in their current job, is that so many people just like you wake up one day to find that they have stayed in an unfulfilling job for YEARS.
Too many people spend too many years unhappy. And we each only have one life to live. I can’t sit by and just watch. I believe you deserve better. I believe you deserve to do work and live a life you absolutely love, each and every day. Simply put, that’s why I do the work I do as a coach. And that’s why I’m writing this post.
Sometimes leaving an unfulfilling job feels much easier said than done.
You might find yourself hesitating to leave your job for some of the same reasons I hear most often from new clients. You might be feeling:
- Surprised to feel so unfulfilled by the job you’d initially felt genuinely excited to get
- Scared to leave the known for the unknown
- Unclear or at a loss about what to do next
- Not convinced it’s bad enough yet—you’ve told yourself you’ll leave “when it gets really bad”
- Convinced you can’t find a better job, “at least not in this market”
- Stuck—convinced you need to stay—for your kids, your partner, your debt, your bills, etc.
- Hopeless—at this point it’s been so long, you can’t imagine feeling any differently
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Deciding to leave your job can be one of the scariest decisions you’ll ever make. But it’s worth it!
When you take the time to do some thoughtful planning beforehand, choosing to leave an unfulfilling job and put your own happiness first is also one of the most life-affirming, exciting, empowering, and deeply satisfying choices you will ever make.
I want to share a few tips to make your decision about whether and when to leave your job a little easier:
1. Let go of self-blame. Even though you decided to take your current job when it was offered to you, feeling unfulfilled is not your fault. You made the choices you made based on the information, experience, insight, interests, goals, and opportunities you had at the time. You didn’t know you’d end up feeling so unfulfilled so quickly after entering this line of work.
2. Own what is yours. Ask yourself the tough question for so many folks in your shoes: What can you control? Without looking back and playing the blame game, take an honest look at what you could be doing right now either a) to improve your situation in your current job, b) to take steps towards what you really want, steps along a path that will actually lead to lasting fulfillment for you, or c) to do both (my personal favorite).
3. Let go of thinking about how you can “move up the ladder.” You may find that you’ve been looking for jobs in your same line of work with more responsibilities, a better title, a better salary, better benefits, or a better location. You may be thinking that moving up will make the unsettled feeling disappear, only to find that once you spend a few months or a few years in that next position, you’re still feeling unfulfilled on the same deep level where you feel it now. In school and at work you were likely taught to think about how to get from A to B and then B to C. When it comes to finding work you’ll find deeply meaningful and energizing, with a little self-exploration, you may realize that you actually want to get from A to Z, or from A to 1,000—you may find that you want to make a move from apples to oranges.
4. Get clear on what you do want. At this point you know a lot about what you don’t want, a lot about why your current job just isn’t all that great, or even why it’s downright awful. It may not feel easy for you to come up with the one thing you really want to do for work that will bring you happiness and financial security all in one, but there are ways you can develop a sense of clarity even before you answer that question. Try to think of as many things as possible that you do know about what you want. You might know that in order to feel truly fulfilled, you want to work for yourself, or with kids, or with animals, or with gadgets. Or, you might know you want to create music or be able to work with your hands. You might know you need to be working to end homelessness…
Whatever it is you do know, get it down on paper. Start there and keep building to it over the next few days and weeks. Before you know it, you’ll have started creating your vision. You’ll be thinking about what you want to accomplish with this one precious life of yours, you’ll be thinking in a whole new way! (To read more about how you can let go of limiting thoughts and build your confidence in the future, gain clarity, set a clear goal, visualize your “bigger picture,” check out a recent article on 7 Steps to Becoming a More Positive Person.)
If you already know the job title of your dreams, the next tip is for you!
5. Increase your confidence in your ability to get from where you are today to where you want to be. Once you feel clear on what you really want to be doing, take some time to think through what it will really take for you to build that dream career or get that dream job. No matter what your dream is, try to think backwards about what it would take to make your dream come true. Start with the end goal in mind and then think through the logical steps that would be required to get there. So, for example, try to think about what you’d have to do the year before you were running a multi-million dollar business of your own, or the year before you were Executive Director of a nonprofit working to ensure every student had resources to get a top notch college education without taking on thousands of dollars in debt, or the year before you’re invited to perform in front of the President… Once you get started, take your planning all the way to the present day, all the way to that first small step you can take today to get started on your path, the things you can try, the people you can talk to, the places you can visit. Build yourself a timeline you think could actually work. And again, get it down on paper.
6. Take the first step towards doing what you think you might find deeply fulfilling. Before diving into the deep end and quitting your job, to help make your decision easier, notice how you feel as you take one small step. Think of it as just dipping a toe in. Your first small step might be taking a class on the subject matter of your dreams, volunteering at a hospital, taking a trip to your dream town, going to an audition, job shadowing a first grade teacher, or writing a letter to your future self that shares how excited you feel that you followed your passions and threw yourself into starting that new business, teaching yoga, interviewing women from all over the world… Whatever first step you choose to take, notice how you feel doing it. Is there something that resonates? Do your shoulders relax? Do you feel a newfound optimism? Are you eager to take a second step? If you are excited for that next step, take it!
What you’ll probably find, like most of my clients do, is that once you’ve taken a small step towards a new life you’re choosing, the decision to leave your old life behind will almost make itself—once you’re feeling a certain amount of hope, energy, excitement, and momentum, it’ll feel like nothing can stop you. Fear of the unknown and doubt about whether this new direction is really right for you will begin to just fade away.
Each of these tips might sound easy at first, but each of them poses unique challenges for different people. If there are one or two that feel more challenging for you, ask for help. If doing each of these was simple, you’d have left your job a long time ago, you’d be living the life of your dreams today, and I’d have no reason to do the work I do. So, if you need a champion, someone to hold you accountable, a thought-partner to help you get clear on what your dream career will be or to help you create your plan for how you’re going to make that dream come true, just ask for it!
You deserve to live a deeply satisfying and meaningful life—personally and professionally.
It all starts with your first small step…
So how about you? What is one thing you can do today to start to shift things for yourself? I’d love to know!
Leave a comment, share your ideas, ask questions this post brought up for you, share these tips with a friend or colleague, let me know if you found this post helpful or inspiring. I hope you have!!!
Wishing you a career and a life you absolutely love each and every day,
Becky
Becky Emet, MSW, MBA
Career Coach | Life Coach
Helping you find true fulfillment at work and in life
For a FREE coaching consultation and to learn more about how coaching can help you build a career and choose a life you love,
Email Coach Becky today at info@ChooseALifeYouLove.com
